Things are good, as I start to write this on December 21st, that’s me finished work until January 4th, and even though we were away at the beginning of November, I can’t help but feel I need another break already.
Years ago, after a week or so away, I always remember feeling refreshed and ready to go again, and it lasted for some time after the holiday. The memories and the fresh drive both seemed to last at least a few weeks. By contrast, nowadays, it seems we are no sooner back at work than we are back into the swing of things and holidays, and the refreshing feelings are soon forgotten about.
Today’s society is so different in many ways. It is faster in every way. It is more demanding, need now, want now, express checkouts, superfast broadband, drive-thru coffee and take-away outlets, twenty-four-hour shopping, instant loans and so on and so on. It will be difficult for many younger people to understand as this is all they know; they have grown up with these things as normal.
Go back to my teenage years only forty years ago, and it was all different. I even remember a few years later when I was twenty-six, and the pub closed at three o’clock on a Sunday and didn’t re-open until seven. I often stood outside with my mate waiting for it to re-open, not because we were alcoholics, but it closed again at ten o’clock! But it was all different then and in some ways so much better.
But moving on, this is another post about anxiety and how things are, not how things were when I was eighteen. I am going through a good stage at the moment, even though I am a bit of a bah-humbug! I don’t really like Christmas, more so for what it has become, a time of ‘want and must have’ rather than the traditional giving and being happy with what we received.
I can relate the condition of anxiety to times like this, and I can imagine how people must get affected by the demands put on them, whether that be socialising with family and friends they don’t want to meet, buying stuff they can’t afford, and the general expectations put on people they can do without. If I were told tomorrow that Christmas was cancelled, never to be seen again, I would be more than happy with that.
But we still have to be thankful, I preferred the old days, but then I much prefer the option of shopping online rather than joining the hustle and bustle and the queues of shopping centres, with people rushing about and focused on what they want and rarely other people, a part of society I also dislike. So today’s society has its benefits – that’s for sure. We couldn’t shop online when I was twenty-six. I’m not sure I could do it when I was thirty-six.
And as I look back through this blog, getting it finalised before posting it, I have
since spoken to my elderly neighbour who, like me, is a bah humbug, and like me said, she too would be quite happy if Christmas was cancelled forever. She told me how she worried that she may have missed buying something when her grandchildren came round and might ask why she didn’t have it, she worried in case everyone thought the meal was alright and if everyone enjoyed it, and she used the word ‘worried.’ How many people across the country could replace that word with ‘anxious?’
I said there is a simple solution, and a little intrigued, she asked me what it was. So me being me, I said if people didn’t like what she had done for them, it was ‘tough s**t’, and the solutions were simple. If you didn’t like it, then next year, do better yourself or leave. And to me, that is how things are if you don’t like what others have done for you, especially at times like Christmas.
My answer may be a little crude and sharp, but again I struggle to see it any other way. But here is a typical example of how people are worried about what they are doing for others and if it is enough, rather than people gathering for the joys and celebrations that is Christmas. But if you can’t appreciate what people are trying to do for you, then that just can’t be helped. Maybe you need to look at your lack of appreciation for what people are trying to do, rather than the fact the gravy was a little lumpy or they failed to put chocolate biscuits out after a lovely Christmas dinner. If people have issues with what others are trying to do for them, they are selfish and greedy; at least they are in my world.
But back to anxiety and my recent experiences of bipolar, I still can’t understand why I never linked the two before, but then I have never been one to research conditions or even illnesses that much. I listen to doctors and hopefully do what’s right. We all have different opinions on what we should do. I have recently heard of someone who, after trying two types of chemotherapy, that didn’t work, decided to refuse any more chemotherapy and radiotherapy or medication to battle cancer and stick to a strict vegan diet, as they feel they will benefit from it.
I’m not close enough to the person to know the detail, but I can only say ‘fair play’ to them for the decision they made. That is a massive choice, and it is one I hope works for them; personally, I’m sceptical because if it works, I’m sure the NHS would know by now, so can I see it working? Well, no, I can’t, but I wish them well.
So how do we compare that to anxiety? With difficulty, remember what is right for one person doesn’t necessarily work for someone else with mental health medication or remedies. There are a few diversions that work for me. One is my writing. It is where my mind gets lost, I enjoy cycling, and only today I cycled twenty miles, not because I felt it would help my anxiety, but because I feel better afterwards, and I felt it would help my fitness. Especially with the approach to Christmas, I have received a box of McVities Victoria Classic Biscuit Selection and a big tin of the best chocolate in the world, that being Lindt Lindor and a mixed selection at that. So three guesses who will be putting weight on without the exercise?
I’m watching the World Darts Championship as I write this, so I have my hobbies
to take my mind off things, both the condition and my underlying issues, so my diversions are working, and I am happy and in a good place. Yet if the sun was shining and it was warm enough, I would happily sit in my garden soaking the sun up, maybe with a cold beer in hand and doing absolutely nothing, and so a complete contradiction in terms of diversions. Take your mind off anxiety by doing something and keeping ourselves, and more importantly, our minds occupied and active, and away from things that trigger the condition, or sit and do nothing that also takes my mind away from my condition. Relaxing and enjoying what I have being the diversion!
I have mentioned that life will always have a way of reminding me of my underlying issues, and it happens wherever I go and whatever I do. Today whilst out cycling, and with my mind a million miles away in the ‘my legs are sore’ world, I could sense a large vehicle behind me, and some being me and not wanting to get in anyone’s way, I pulled over to let them pass. And what did I see, only her name on the back of the vehicle I had let pass, and so for a few minutes, even whilst out having ‘me time’ trying to do myself some good, my mind a million miles away and whilst feeling pretty good, I get a kick in the teeth just to remind me? Fortunately, as soon as I start to cycle again, my mind is distracted by the strain on my body!
So diversions and remedies are the same as ‘trigger points.’ What helps one
person will not affect another, what starts anxiety off with someone again will have absolutely no effect on another suffering with the same condition. That is why we have so many versions of anxiety. According to an internet search and at the last count we have, well we have a variety of options. On the first page of my internet search, I was advised there were 5, 6, 11 & 12 types of anxiety, and that to me gives you an idea of what we are up against. I didn’t even go to page 2!
But I will draw this to a close by saying if you are not sure if you think you might be suffering, there is so much help out there, starting with a self-assessment
I tried this, but I did it knowing my issues and having taken part in similar exercises before, but I still had signs of anxiety, fortunately, none of depression. But it’s a starting point, especially if you are nervous about speaking to someone. Yes, you need to be completely honest and not look for the answer that should be or maybe the right one. Choose the one that is right for you and your mind and how you are feeling, and it will tell you something.
But here is the most important thing. This is on the NHS website, and our doctors are part of the NHS. So there is no embarrassment or humiliation by going to see your doctor and admitting that you have taken the NHS test and are concerned about the results and your mental state because it is their test, not a random one you found online made up by Joe Bloggs.
And that is often the starting point, your GP. I was helped massively in later years
by a counsellor, recommended by my GP, and he did help massively. If your GP feels this is not for you, they will look at other options for you, and there are many out there. There are counselling individuals, counselling groups, online services and possibly physical activity groups, and my old friend medication that can help, but if anyone can help, your GP can, and please have faith in them to help you to get the correct support. But another please, if a doctor gives you medication to try to help you please, please take it, don’t do as I did and throw it away. Since I started taking mine some eight-ten months ago, it has helped tremendously.
There are no wrongs with anxiety or mental health issues; it’s not like we chose them over another illness or injury. It is given to us when we don’t expect it or ask for it, just like a split second between being upright on a bike and hitting the ground. I never asked for it; it just happened. The problem we have, as I did, is we often try to bimble on in life not even knowing anything is wrong, and not seeking help, maybe not knowing we even need help. The one thing I can tell you is that once you do know there is something wrong, please get help. Would you please make that initial appointment and start talking to someone who knows someone who can help you and start the ball rolling? GP’s are the starting point.
Thank you for reading, and stay safe
Comments 16