Here goes – I’m cheating again as it’s only day seven, not day eight, and I’m trying to get a bit of a head start again. Tomorrow we leave Skye, and after the weather here tonight, and the weather witnessed on our ‘Ring’ doorbell down in the West Midlands, part of me wishes I was home. Yet another part of me is drawn to this beautiful area of Scotland and Britain, and I know others are too. I was served in a shop by a lady from Eastern Europe, then later in the day by a lady from London, so I’m not the only one.
It has been a very relaxing time, and there have been over 750 miles added to the milometer on the car, with probably about 600 to go yet. Still, it’s been good, with one little anxiety-related episode aside. As I write this, it is nine-thirty on Wednesday night, and we are back in the yurt after eating a delicious meal at the Edinbane Inn only four miles down the road for us. The food was lovely, and the service by friendly, helpful staff is all we can ask for when we sit down to eat, definitely recommended, but book in advance to avoid disappointment.
I’m not sure if I will write again on this trip. We head to Balloch tomorrow, situated on the south side of Loch Lomond. I am looking forward to the scenic journey, and the stopover at another new destination for us, with the chance to experience new things in life. Not only is the journey and holiday a positive aspect of life, and so a good help in combatting any mental health issues. But I find writing about them is too, as when I write, I remember positive actions and positive times. Any form of positivity can only be good for us.
We thoroughly enjoyed our boat trip with the accompanying dolphins, the relaxing seals and a sea eagle that I managed to capture a couple of times, but too far away to make a good photograph. The one decent chance I did have when it flew alongside the boat, taking away the fish that the boatmen had thrown in to coax it from its hide on the hill (which worked.) Unfortunately, my autofocus didn’t quite match it, and it focused more on the background than the bird, and the moment was missed.
But after Balloch, we head to East Kilbride for two nights with my sister and her husband, an afternoon and early evening with my Parents in Peebles, or very near Peebles, and a drive home to the West Midlands on Sunday night when the roads are usually quiet, let’s hope they still are on Sunday! So here I am on Wednesday night, not knowing if I will write again during my break – thank goodness some may say!
But then here I am on Friday in East Kilbride with time to finish this post and my holiday writing and diary. I have combined these few pieces of my holiday diary with other aspects of my writing, and I did mean to write about the Euro Tournament and the fallout from the English defeat, but if I don’t finish that until I get home, it will definitely be old news, most people may have even forgotten about it. We are now seeing people being charged with racism-related offences because of social media posts, and rightly so.
I can’t be doing with this hatred that we see on these platforms (or anywhere) worse because if Rashford, Saka and Sancho had scored their penalties, these very same people would have cheered them to the rafters and sang their name with pride. The hypocrisy absolutely stinks, and I can’t stand it, but nor can I stand the lack of action by these sites. Looking on, it’s as if they just can’t be bothered, or the more that people do this, the more publicity they will get from it; either way, it’s not enough, and they need to do more.
I’ve covered Love Island and a couple of incidents at Wimbledon, but I felt I needed to go back to the story about Emma Radacanu. I felt for her at Wimbledon, but now we have many people saying John McEnroe shouldn’t have said anything about what happened. We now have Judy Murray, Andy’s Mother saying (courtesy the Herald, Scotland) ‘Middle-aged men should generally avoid commenting on the physical or mental well-being of teenage girls.’ – I ask why?
(Again courtesy The Herald, Scotland) McEnroe said on the BBC: ‘I feel bad for Emma. It appears that it got a little bit too much, as is understandable, particularly what we’ve been talking about these last six weeks with Naomi Osaka not even here. How much can players handle? Hopefully, she’ll learn from this experience. Maybe it’s not a shame that it happened right now when she’s 18. I think, seeing this, expectations drop a little bit, allow her to take a couple of deep breaths. She’ll get some nice wild cards into events now.’
Piers Morgan then took to Twitter today and insisted that McEnroe was telling the truth. He wrote: ‘McEnroe told the truth. Ms Raducuna’s a talented player but couldn’t handle the pressure & quit when she was losing badly. ‘Not ‘brave’, just a shame. If I were her, I’d tell my fans to stop abusing McEnroe and seek his advice on how to toughen up & become a champion like he was.’
But now Murray (Judy) says that, and I don’t get it? Are we really at a stage in life where middle-aged men can’t say anything about teenage girls’ physical or mental well-being? According to Stephanie Hilborne, middle-aged men can’t say that women are ‘pretty’ either, so who can say what about who and at what age, because according to these two women, it seems middle-aged men can’t say very much about the female sex at all?
So who do I get offended with when someone talks about my well-being and reasonably handsome looks at fifty-eight? Who has the right to speak about me as an individual, and who do I listen to? Because as a middle-aged man, I seemingly can’t say anything about young women. I can’t say they are pretty and according to Murray – remember, ‘Middle-aged men should generally avoid commenting on the physical or mental well-being of teenage girls.’
So if that’s the case, then I ask that young teenage women do not comment on my mental or physical well-being, or women, in general, do not comment on my reasonably good looks, please? When they have done, I’m sure I’m taking it as a compliment!
So let’s look deeper at this and go to the ‘enth degree.’ How do we define what sex or gender and what age group has the right to speak about another? Who decides where it all stops, how we split it into ‘allowed and not allowed?’ And what if Emma Radacanu wanted to see a counsellor it certainly couldn’t be a middle-aged man who thought she was pretty; that would be sacrilege; he obviously couldn’t help her could he? Or can he as he’s ‘qualified,’ let’s just hope he doesn’t think she’s pretty?
Where does it all stop because none of the comments were derogatory, there was no swearing, name-calling, and no slagging off. McEnroe’s and Becker’s comments were spot on; they were fact without any degrading or meaningful hurt. McEnroe as a multi-tournament winner is well qualified to comment on any young tennis players approach to a game, both mentally or physically. As discussed in a previous post, many women take being called ‘pretty’ as a compliment. Just because Hilborne sees it as wrong, that doesn’t make her right; many women will actually disagree with her!
But here’s one – maybe middle-aged women shouldn’t talk about teenage girls physical or mental well-being because of the age difference – whoops, am I being ageist, because if I am, then Murray is too with her comments, and also sexist for that matter!
These people need to remember that we all have opinions and are all entitled to them. And one of the main things to remember here is that there has not been anything offensive said, certainly nothing on the level as that dished out to the young footballers who missed penalties in the Euro’s finals. If you read into what has been said by McEnroe, they are very straightforward conclusions of what happened, the very same as Boris Becker and John Inverdale. The girl in question was pretty, just as Emma broke down as she couldn’t handle the situation, and we all hope she learns from it. Simply because if she doesn’t, it will happen again, and she will not progress as a player – that is a fact; it really is that simple.
But then, I will undoubtedly be criticised as I am a middle-aged man, and it seems I am not allowed to comment on these stories, as they involve young females. But then I was a sportsman, and I am a mental health first aider, so I’m sorry I will comment because we live in a country with freedom of speech, and again I am not derogatory or rude. Maybe we need to sit down and write some new rules about who and what gender can say what about a specific age group and gender. So Only teenagers can speak about teenagers of the same gender, maybe only fifty-sixty-year-olds can only talk about the same age group and the same gender.
I certainly hope not as all the teenagers in the world would be the best thing since sliced bread, and we know that’s not the case. Oops, ageism again!
As a middle-aged man, am I in the wrong to mention the two young girls in Balloch High Street yesterday, full of tourists and holidaymakers. The girls walking to the train station wearing just their bikinis, and their bikini bottoms being thongs? I didn’t see them except for them disappearing around the corner to the train station, bare butt cheeks on show for Balloch and the world to see. It was my wife that pointed them out to me. Is she ageist? Am I sexist and ageist for mentioning it? Because in my opinion, it is ridiculous that young girls or middle-aged and more senior women (or men – there I think I’ve covered it) think it is okay to go out dressed like this because it’s not, and that is my opinion. I’ve not called them names or been derogatory to these people, merely commenting on a situation that was out in the public domain for all of us to see. If you take it out there, be prepared for others to comment!
But whatever train they boarded and at their tender ages that my wife put at fourteen to fifteen years old, I can guarantee that the train toilets were used as changing rooms, so they went back home all respectfully dressed, so their parents saw them in a different light.
I have seen on a search engine there are eighty-six genders, over four thousand religions, there are seemingly three or four major races with as many as thirty sub-groups. And for the sake of it, let’s split the age groups into decades, and let’s say we are only allowed to speak about the same people as we are, so I can only talk about fifty-something atheist men from a Scottish background, living in England. I certainly couldn’t say much about anyone as I’m the only one I know.
I couldn’t even speak about my wife as the last time I looked she was female, she’s a catholic, and she’s English, seems I can’t talk about her either, or my own Father, he’s Church of Scotland and living in Scotland, best I stay quiet.
Those last two paragraphs are silly and stupid even by my standards, but where does it all stop if middle-aged men can’t comment on young girls’ mental well-being or physical attributes in a non-derogatory, non-offensive manner. Because in today’s very PC world, what’s good enough for one age group, gender, race, or religion has to be good enough for the others too.
So my question to Murray and Hilborne is simple – where does it stop, and what are the boundaries? Would you please let me know as I’m interested in your opinions and comments?
Thanks for reading, you fifty-something atheist men from a Scottish background, living in England. I daren’t say everyone in case I offend someone – stay safe all!