I am back at that stage where I am just confused with some of the decisions made by our Government where the Coronavirus is concerned. I was initially going to read through my old posts to see how confused I was initially with lockdown, way back in March, but then I thought why bother, I’ll just start again?
I can’t say I’m confused with what I need to be doing, it’s back to that little thing called ‘common sense,’ something I like to think I have, and something I would rather have than any other qualification or attribute. To me, it’s an important aspect of life, but unfortunately, something that is missing from too many people, and where it is required, such as with those who run our country?
I have said on more than one occasion, that if Boris and his party wanted a Minister for Common Sense to sit in at his meetings, I would be more than happy to take the position, because to me as in people in life, there is quite a bit missing from some decisions that are being made!
I’ll start with the photo from the tweet I put out last night, and I think it’s a little 
obvious. So I can meet someone outside from another household and go walking two metres away from them. I could even walk along the path by our local tennis courts, but I can’t go onto the court and stand approximately twenty-five metres away from them and play tennis? So stimulating both my mind and body for an hour or so, and doing me good both mentally and physically. Some might say it’s because you both have to touch the same tennis balls, so play with two colours of tennis ball, and when it’s your turn to serve, you can only ever touch the one colour that is yours. Let’s be honest you don’t touch a ball when you’re hitting it, and you never touch the other persons colour!
And of course, I can go for that walk two metres away, but I can’t go and play golf
with them, and if I played, trust me I would be walking more than two metres away from my playing partners with my wayward shots. But on a serious note, it is another non-contact, non-equipment sharing sport, so why can’t we play? Again it would stimulate the body and the mind. There is the flag – either have a sanitising station at every green or stop them taking the flag out, take it away for that matter, and true golfers would still play. It’s not difficult, but in my opinion, the Government are taking away exercise, sport and enjoyment when they don’t need to.
They allow elite sports to carry on, and elite sport is being cancelled right, left and centre due to players and staff catching the virus, and we hear about it every day. How many cases were reported from tennis courts and golf courses, before this lockdown and when people were allowed to play? I’m not sure, but I would say there was none, but I could be wrong. Just as I believe the Government are with these two decisions and there are more, that confuse me.
They have also decided on this occasion that pubs can’t sell takeaway beer, but they can still sell takeaway food and non-alcoholic drinks, but they can deliver food and alcohol. What is the difference between collecting beer when you collect your food and having it delivered with your food and again and as I often ask – why?
If someone wants a beer with their food, but are collecting the food, it means they will have to go to a second shop to buy their beer, so making someone go to two places instead of just the one, and so potentially meeting more people, and potentially giving us more option to spread or catch the virus.
So should we only use the home delivery service from pubs, but then why give us the option to collect food in the first place? Just say that pubs can only do home deliveries or nothing, again it’s not making sense and why I would just like to know just for peace of mind.
It hopefully won’t affect me in any way. I buy my beer from the Supermarket, and there in itself is a bit of a contradiction in itself. I can collect beer from Tesco or my local convenience store, but not the Dog & Duck, and again by buying my cheaper beer from the supermarkets, I will meet a lot more people, with much more chance of catching or spreading the virus. And weren’t we told recently that there was more chance of catching the virus in a supermarket than anywhere else during normal life (excluding illegal parties, raves and gatherings).
Why don’t they let us have alcohol collections from the Dog & Duck with our food, and then at least you are restricting me to one collection point?
But then I remembered at the very beginning of the pandemic last year, we were allowed to go to DIY stores to buy tools to repair a damaged fence, but we weren’t allowed to purchase paint and brushes, yet the Government had also told us to stay at home. What better thing to do when you have to ‘stay at home’ than a bit of DIY? I despaired then as I do now.
Anyway, I hope it won’t affect us, because whilst I am not promising a dry January, I will try to cut down – I need to cut down. Especially just after Christmas, I think for about the last month I must have averaged at least ten alcoholic drinks a night, whether that be a can or bottle of lager, a gin or a glass of wine, and that whilst less than others is just too much! I say less than others based on some people’s re-cycling bins that I have seen being put out for collection!
Either way, we can’t go out now, so we will make an effort, it just might do the bank balance some good too, not that it’s ever much good anyway.
And then there is work, industry hasn’t been closed down this time, let’s be honest they can’t afford to close it can they? But why can’t my daughter work as a nail technician with a safe system of work in place, yet the steelworks I went to five months ago can keep working with no systems in place what-so-ever? And they employ a full-time H&S Officer who obviously has a ‘can’t be bothered’ attitude.
So here I ask what do the owners expect from what will be a responsible well-paid employee, one with responsibilities for getting not just their COVID systems put in place and put in properly, but all other aspects of H&S. If he’s not bothering with COVID safe systems, what else is he not doing, well from what I saw quite a lot? But why worry, especially after people had to be sent home after catching the virus!
And I could probably sit here asking question after question, and I suppose part of me would maybe just get more frustrated, I don’t know, as much as this post won’t seem like it, I am just thankful that things are okay in life, even with some things not making sense. But what I would say is that the Government explain to us why we can’t play golf, tennis or collect beer when we collect food, stop letting us guess, and get frustrated at the same time. Explanations would be good!!
I am fortunate; my anxiety is pretty much staying away since I started the medication; there is a very occasional day that I feel something like I did yesterday. Not for long and nothing serious but it was there, popping up and saying hello as it does, on my 1-10 level no more than two and no more than two hours. It was just reminding me of how things can be, my occasional reminder that likes to say hello. And maybe the fact I was returning to work after two weeks off, I honestly don’t know.
I’m not going into lockdown this time round either, industry isn’t stopping this time, but I can’t do all my work from home, so I will be getting out and about, and it will be interesting to see how things are this time around. One company I know won’t let us visit them, but then they won’t let the accounts office visit the sales office, or purchasing visit the warehouse, so strict are they or are they paranoid?
But we’re okay, my wife is starting to work from home as from tomorrow, and that should be fun! But we have done well over Christmas, we have spent nearly every hour together for two weeks, and we did alright, as we have done for some twenty-three years now. I had a bit of a funny turn on Sunday, and she sent me out for a walk on my own, which funnily enough did me a world of good, not because I got away from the wife, but because I did need some ‘me time.’ Something my wife knows I need, and something she was happy to give me, knowing I needed it, and maybe more so knowing I couldn’t go and sit in a pub!
I never really understood how anniversary dates got to people, probably because I haven’t had many to consider. Now I do, but for me, it’s not just a memory date, but a memory period, unfortunately, it stretches from the beginning of November until about mid-February. It’s the time of year for bad memories, from when things all went wrong and when I messed up big time. It’s not every day for that period; in fact, the bad days don’t come around too often, but I’m not great when they do. Get February out the way, and things get better again.
But I am fortunate and lucky in life, and many may ask why this happens, I’m not sure. Being fortunate and lucky should maybe mean I should never be like this, or I shouldn’t let it affect me, but it does. Year on year it has got better, and I know it will continue to do so, but it’s not great, and not great because of decisions I made, and I was pretty much in control of.
Let’s turn that around for a minute, how must people feel who are in a situation that they can’t control. They may be suffering from mental health issues, and they don’t have a lifestyle that they like, people who feel trapped and handcuffed to an existence they can’t escape from?
I was lucky to turn things around, and I have a good lifestyle, being semi-retired and enjoying myself and the life/work balance so many want. But many can’t find it or can’t afford to, so many people must feel trapped in an existence that they don’t enjoy.
Around October, I was seriously thinking about changing jobs, so I decided to see what was out there, sure enough, there was plenty to choose from and most of which were within my capabilities, and so I applied for about twenty vacancies. I believe I got two replies. It didn’t bother me as I wasn’t desperate, but again imagine how it is for those people who are? I think it’s poor. As a manager, when I advertised a position, I always made sure it was applications by e-mail.
That made it very easy to copy and paste a reply to everyone because invariably, more people apply that you don’t interview than you do. But they have taken the time to show an interest, for whatever reason, I had to say ‘thank you’ to them, one way or the other. Companies should think about this, and without sounding big-headed, maybe follow that example!
My wife and I do our small part for a local charity, helping deliver parcels to the elderly, maybe collecting an odd prescription here and there, and I will continue to do so. We shop for one couple, and we don’t believe they have been out of their house since the first lockdown started, and that to me is quite sad. So I know many, many people are less fortunate, but mental health issues, sometimes doesn’t let you realise this?
As I sit here writing this, I know how my life is, I know it sometimes doesn’t get any better. On a couple of occasions, I have said that people think winning the lottery brings happiness with no worries, but sometimes I wonder If I have won the lottery without the financial windfall. I have been so lucky, I am not rich, I have spending money, but no savings to talk of. I have had in the past, but I spent it on a second hand Range Rover that doesn’t owe me anything, something I wanted to drive for many years, but now I would struggle if it needed a major repair. I am not rich by any means.
But there are occasions, like Sunday when none of this matters, your lifestyle is irrelevant because your mind is elsewhere and is in another place, a place that isn’t so good to be, it isn’t so easy to turn it around, and that isn’t written to offend anyone, it is just how life can be when there have been places your mind has gone that isn’t too good.
There are ways we can act to help us out of the darker places, my dark place isn’t anxiety, it is a massive downer, and it must be
bordering on depression. Fortunately for me, this lasts hours rather than days, or God forbid longer. I also know I need to work harder at keeping myself on the right tracks, and hopefully, I will – well from February onwards at least.
The mind is a complex part of our body that can’t ever be denied!
Thank you for reading and stay safe.